Sweet Tea and Southern Nights

Also, anyone else watching The Bachelorette this season?

My faves are:

*Charlie (SO ADORABLE I LOVE HIM GIVE HIM TO ME SORRY W BUT HELLUR)

*Jef

*Kalon ( Just because you’re rich and you have a large vocabulary, doesn’t mean you’re automatically an asshole. I loved his intro in the first episode and I think he can be a good guy. I think Doug totally blew his comment out of proportion from this past week because everyone just LOVES TO HATE this dude. Sorry bros, he’s a catch.)

The WORST:

*Stevie (Dude’s name is Stevie…gross. Also, he just seems so cocky and gross and dumb and I just don’t like him. The way he talks makes my ears bleed. Yuck. Go home.)

*Allessandro/Alejandro (Just…whatever. You made sexy glasses Bio teacher Aaron leave but kept THESE TWO? Emily sucks.)

Can Ames just be on every season no matter what? PLEASE? 

The Great Gatsby trailer is out and the Perks of Being a Wallflower trailer comes out on June 3rd.

2012…the year all my favorite books got made into movies. Thanks, Hollywood! 

Everyone is posting that Zac Efron gif “Take a chance.” and now Abba is stuck in my head. Thanks guys.

My reactions to the Grey’s Anatomy finale in GIFS. No spoilers…

When *insert character name here* died. 

To Shonda:

Sandra Oh’s performance…

At the end of the show and the cliffhanger:

Oh, thanks Shonda. I’ll just here HATING LIFE until September. 

I can’t tan

I have very nice, pretty pale skin that just will not tan in the sun. I refuse to use tanning beds due to the health risks and I’ve tried at home self-tanner and spray tans but they never end up looking the way that I want and I’d rather spend that money on a new dress or pair of shoes instead. Plus I have a lot of things I want to instill in my daughter, one of them being that you don’t have to change yourself to be beautiful. Anywho. I don’t do tanning beds, and that hasn’t been a problem since I’ve spent the last five summers in Alaska where EVERYONE IS PALE. Because it’s Alaska. Now, I’m in Alabama and EVERYONE IS TAN. So, feeling really self-conscious, I told W about a week ago that I was going to go to the tanning bed for about a month to get a base tan and see if the sun would build on it. He convinced me that I’m just as pretty without one. 

Every once in a while (ok, all the time) I ask him to send me something sweet. Tonight, he sent me this. 

I love him. 

My thoughts on 50 Shades…

Is this Twilight?

So there aren’t vampires in this book…hmmm.

HOLY CRAP SCARY ROOM OF PAIN. RUN BITCH, RUUUUUNNN.

Porn.

Porn.

So. Much. Porn.

He doesn’t last very long in bed does he? Must be how he can do it a million times a day.

I want to call everything Charlie Tango.

This bitch sure does love the word “mercurial”.

Kate’s parents must be gazillionares to just buy her an apartment above the Market.

Porn. Porn. More porn.

Man, I miss my boyfriend.

Porn.

If someone spoiled me like that, I wouldn’t complain.

This bitch also loves the word “beguiled”.

We get it. You have split personality disorder (inner goddess, harpy lady with glasses)

*Looks up gliding on google*

Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson would NOT approve of Mrs. Robinson. 

Porn. Porn. Porn. Check.

I WANT A CLOSET FULL OF NEW CLOTHES FROM MY SEX-GOD BOYFRIEND. DAMN. STOP COMPLAINING.

Porn. 

Scary Red Room scene.

Wait…this is the end? What? No. Why didn’t I buy the rest of the books? Is Target still open? 

My reaction to seeing Elliot Stabler in the True Blood preview…

Maybe if I got all my Norts monogrammed and bought some neon Nikes, I’d work out…

LOLOLOLOLOLOL no. 

I’d just look cute walking around on non-dress up days. 

“We can watch wedding shows the entire time I’m home.”

-W trying to make up with me after a fight. He’s good.